this past month / Dana (sister)
well richie, this past month has gone by quickly. I know you have been by my side the every second of it. I can't help but think how much you would have loved holding Riley and what an incredible uncle you would have been. Not having you here for this has truly been one of the hardest times in my life. I feel blessed on one hand, for having Riley and her being healthy, but on the other hand, I am so very sad and feel so let down that you are not here to share it in all with me. While I was having the c-section I remember lying there thinking how much I wished you were out in the waiting room with Mom. I wore your dog tags in the operating room, but I'm sure you knew that - I just needed desperately to have a piece of you with me. I have already been telling Riley about her amazing uncle - although I am sure she already knows. Next month will be the christening which once again, will be something that will be very hard to do without you. I love you with all my heart and miss you so very much. Close
Oh my God how can I ever "celebrate" another Mothers Day without you here. We are trying so very hard but the tears still flow and our hearts still ache. I know you see and hear us and I know you hear me when I talk privately to you while in my car.
Although our sorrow is so deep, this year we have been so very blessed with the birth of little Riley. Nothing can replace our loss of you Richie but I know in my heart, your spirit will carry on through Riley. Already she is so very alert and I know wanting not to miss anything that is going on - so like her Uncle. Dana and I laughed the other day and said you would have taken her out already as you always said, being seen with a Baby, is a real "chick magnet".
Dana and Rob have taken to parenthood like old pros - they are good with Riley and so very proud.
So Richie I miss you more than life itself - watch over us all today when all your aunts, uncles, nan and cousins are here to celebrate Mothers Day and our new addition to this wonderful, crazy family.
I miss u so much riley is here and she is beautiful baby and doenst cry is so good...anyway thanks for helping me get through my stuff i know u stick by all of us...riley will always hear about uncle sgt rich febbi..also..this warm weather thank you we all need this..i miss you so much rich not a minute goes by that I dont think or pray to you... stay by danas side as always and aunt jane and the rest of the family I wish u could see how much Ive changed I just remember u telling me that dont sweat the small stuff..and be who u are...never change but I have alittle for me and I am trying to make you proud we love u rich Close
Thanks Rich / Matt Febbi (Dad)
Well Rich, You did it, With the arrival of Riley means you have done your job getting her ready for her life here. From what I understand, You have done a great jod too. I will find out for myself in a few days. It is now up to all of us to continue your work in bringing here up in your likeness.... Ok well almost in your likeness.LOL Please Rich, stay close to Dana,. Rob and your Mom and especially close to Riley. Semper Fi my brother, I love you My son Dad Close
Happy Easter / Mom
Well Richie thank God this holiday is almost over. I have to say the most important thing is that our family was together and we made the best of it. You would have liked this Easter dinner - not a traditional one - it was as you would have said "a Latalian one".
As always, the laughs and jokes were there but then there is always that moment when we all drift off and have that far away look, no words need to be said but we all know that we are thinking of you and all with our own special memory of you.
The next few weeks we will finally meet "Little Riley" - what a joy that will be for us all - oh Richie if only you could be here to share it with us. But I know you have already met her and filled her in.
Funny so many people have had dreams of you within the last few weeks - let me have one tonite.
I love you Richie and Happy Easter - I left you an Easter Basket - I know you are probably laughing and saying Oh God thats my Mom. But I cant accept that you are gone.
its just bullsh*t u arent here your still breaking hearts though hehe not a day goes by that someone doesnt mention your name outside the family or i talk about u love u rich my heart aches we all miss u watch over dana specially these past months and please hurry with riley we all need that laughter once again please send me some descent people and help me get through this tuff world and find my heart song thanks for the elvis penguin lol in the movie we all watched happy feet and weezy and to many weird conquienzes we know u are still with us keep us strong -holly-
this stinks / Rob
Hey rich, I always thought when my first child was born it would be this incredible miracle. But it just sucks without you. No one will be as happy as they should, every party would be missing something, and every holiday would be empty now with out you. you were someone very special whether family or not. Raising Riley will just plain stink without you. every uncle, aunt, cousin, grandma, and super nan will do there share but that one uncle will have to be explained which we will do proudly. She will know every story good or bad but that is our choice and we will love every minute of it. So to our Godfather in heaven we will all see you soon and never forget that legacy that was left.
How are you doing - better than we are I hope. Whoever said time heals all wounds, must never have lost a child. the pain is the same today as it was the day we heard - probably worse as the reality has set in.
I try and go about my day but not a minute goes by where you dont pop into my head, I close my eyes and try to see you and hear your voice - I need to see you Richie.
My heart physically hurts - I have been checked and rechecked and am told the same thing - it is stress that brings on these attacks. Well I dont know how to fix it - when I see you again, the pain will go away.
For now we are anxiously awaiting "Little Riley" - I know she will help heal our family and be a blessing to all of us. We are so very blessed having the family we having and now another addition - we just cant wait to hold her. I know you are giving her instructions and priming her for what lays ahead.
I just wanted to start my day by talking to you and letting you know how much I miss you and love you.
Please help out your old Mom - this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.
sorry/ Mike Boffard
it has been a long time since I have had any contact with the Febbi family. This is the first time that I have seen this site and I am deeply touched by everything on here. I just wanted to send my condolences to everyone.
getting closer / Dana (sister)
well Riley's arrival keeps getting closer. I am excited but there is still such a sadness that comes along with it. Knowing that you won't be here is often just unbearable. I can show her the videos, tell her the stories, but she will never truly understand what you meant to me and what she actually missed by never getting to meet you. It seems like so long ago that I heard your voice. I miss you so much Richie. Love you always. Close
Dana I just wanted to say what a great shower I had so much fun, great food, and noone dereserves it more than u for all the times you took care of rich now we can take care of riley..your a great sister cousin daughter friend. listener and a warm heart we cant wait for RILEY this baby is already so loved...and U DEF have a babysitter i wont be bored anymore lol.........Love u dana and rob..o and rich thanks for sending us amy what a wonderfull heart she has we always look for each other and well take care of her for u also...I always tell people about our family but until people see how warm our hearts are its a mccarthy thing........your right rich through thick and thin family is always there... Close
st patricks day / Dana (sister)
So today is St. Patrick's Day. I'm sure you are already up there celebrating on the only day you would admit you were actually Irish, and not just "Litalian".
Tomorrow, mom will have my baby shower. You wouldn't think so, but it will actually be a very hard day for me. You see, when I envisioned my baby shower, I somehow assumed you would show up at the end to help Uncle Rich, Rob, and everyone else carry the gifts. I imagined I would get one of those "crazy" richie gifts that mom always gave me from you. To know that I won't see you carrying the gifts to the car is just about unbearable. I know you will be with me and god knows you are probably teaching Riley how to "throw a fit" but it just doesn't seem to be good enough. As this whole thing gets closer I am wondering how I am going to do all of this without having you a part of her life. How I wish she could understand what an amazing truly unique person her uncle is and how very lucky she is to have you.
I keep thinking of how much you loved to spend time with the twins when I would watch them - you loved children so much and I wish you were here to share this with me.
My heart hurts / Mom
Well Richie - it happened again - I had another one of those attacks - I am so used to being in control and handling things.
In speaking with the doctor, he told me my heart is physically fine; it is just broken and "these attacks" are just going to happen - I have no control.
Richie this is just so very hard, something will trigger something and I go back to that day when I lost you. The same feeling comes over me.
Thank God I have Nan, Fr. Jude, Dana, the family and friends who just sit and listen and tell me I am not going crazy - this is just something that noone can control.
I guess when I see you again, we will all live with no more pain. But until then, I am trying Richie but the void in our lives is just so inimaginable - nothing feels, tastes or is the same.
So keep your old Mom focused will you - not easy task I know and keep Dana well - she is hurting so much also and we need her to be strong so that her delivery of our little angel Riley will be smooth.
Here I sit another nite and cant sleep. We are experiencing a very cold spell here in NJ - kind of how my heart feels - oh so cold.
I try and be compassionate to other people's problems but I just keep thinking "oh no one has the pain that I have" - I guess it is all relative - everyone's pain whatever it is is the worse for them.
Next week I would normally be looking forward to my "Holy Day" - St. Patrick's Day - how I used to love that day and how we would spar over Italians vs Irish. Funny, St. Patrick's Day was the one day you would acknowledge your Irish heritage. You were more Irish than you realized - wonderful sense of humor, loved a party, loved a good drink and warm and wonderful friend/son/brother.
As each holiday since you have been gone, I will go to the cemetary and share a drink with you. Be with me Richie and let me know you are OK and see us - give me some kind of sign - you know what you have to do.
My heart is with you always - I look around my room and see all the wonderful pictures of you and Dana - they give me comfort in the fact that I know you were happy and know you were loved.
I know you will be with us next Saturday nite when the motorcycle raffle is drawn and then the next day for Dana's shower.
We are trying Richie but living without ones child is unbearable - but I have to believe that one day we will see you again and laugh and plot together once again.
What a nice sunndy day we have here in NJ today. It reminds me of all those days you took off to the shore with your friends - you never had any $$$ but somehow managed to go everywhere - lol. When you didnt have a car, some beautiful girl would pull up and off you would be. You had charisma Richie.
As the spring is approaching, we await our little angel - how I hope you have instructed her as to how to "fit in" with this crazy but oh so loving family. I hope she has your sense of humor.
Please keep us all in your prayers - I have to believe that you are in a place where you dont need ours anymore and can now watch over us until we see you again.
You know how excited I get with St. Patricks Day - it will never again be the same without hearing from you and laughing of your antics - this is the only day you admitted to having some Irish in you - lol.
Be with us on the 17th and with your sister on the 18th. We love and miss you but then again you already know that.
Oh Richie - tonight is not a good night. The tears are really flowing and my heart is really hurting.
I am watching a TV show where someone dies and goes to heaven and is given the option of returning to earth, if she does, she knows she will live a life with some pain, emotional or physical, and issues but she choses to return. I sit here and ask myself why didnt you return - did God not let you or is it so beautiful in heaven that you couldnt leave - for my sanity I have to believe that you are in a place so wonderful that even though you cant be with us, it is OK.
I know you see us and are here with us. You are laughing at my obsession in shopping for Riley but as you know, shopping is my therapy. Since you left us, Willowbrook thinks I work there and want to put me on the payroll! But we all have to do just to get through.
I am reading a book Richie that Donna Singer gave me to help me cope. I am sure you have met her son Chris in heaven and see Mrs. Depascale, me, Mrs. Singer and poor Fr. Jude (God Bless his soul) try and make some sense of our losses. In the book, it describes heaven and the beauty - I hope you are flourishing up there Richie and making them all laugh.
Because as we know Richie, one has to laugh - we cant take this all so serious - that why I had such a connection to you - Oh God Richie did we laugh.
Well I cant see the computer now as my tears are clouding my view but know how much I love you and am proud of you.
The hosting of this website is sponsored by Amy Madine This website will be here Forever, just like all the Happy Memories Rich has given us. The pain will never go away, our questions will never be answered, so all we can do is cherish the one we love with all our hearts until we join him in the heavens.