Well Buddy, yet another home was dedicated to day. This home was a lot tuffer then all the others. I think mainly because Sgt. Kuboy reminds me so much of you. His actions (he will do ANYTHING to make people laugh) His quick whit, And Yes even his decorating tast or should I say lack of. Your leather bed would fit right in this house.LOL
I am also happy to say the Gas grille your fund donated to him during the ceramony went over so big. The very first meal was cooked on your grille. At which time everyone toasted your legacy. You live on in so many peoples hearts.
I Love and MISS you so much. Thank you for your help in making these dream come true for our Brothers in arms.
Hi Richie - Sorry I haven't written on here, it has just gotten to be too hard.
Each day feels longer than the next. I miss you so much, Richie. You would be amazed at how quickly Riley is growing up. Each day, she reminds me more and more of you - her attitude, her personality, he sense of humour, it is all you.
Well we are back from our week in Delaware - oh how you would have enjoyed it as you loved the beach and all the action,
Richie - Riley is so much like you - always peforming and so much a people person - she certanly can turn on the charm when she wants to, We all had so much fun living thru her.
I did pretty well - some rough days - especially at night when i would look up at the stars and wonder if you are watching up. That was confirmed at the fancy restaurant we took nan to for her 84th birthday; they have riley one of those kiddie pacets to keep her entertained - when she opened it, there was a picture of a penquin in it - you are always with us
Well I am off to try and find a dress for hurleys wedding next week - so nice dana, rob and i and a guest (ha ha) were invited in your place It will be bittersweet to be there with your friends but nice also to see them all agaiin and hear more richie stories.
I love you with all my heart - send me a little extra help as i am having some more weepy solemn days - which i know will go on forever; how could i ever heal without you here; people just dont get it that I WILL NEVER AGAIN BE THE SAME - i am just a good actress at times.
(Written yesterday July 1, 2008 - Third Anniversary of Richie's death)
My Dear Family and Friends,
LIFE GOES ON!!!
Three little words but are they true?
If you asked me that three years ago today, I would have said Oh My God, how could it. I sit today on the third anniversary of Richie's passing and cannot say it doesnt.
For me and Dana and Matt our hearts stopped July 1, 2005 - how could we ever feel again or let anyone in again without being hurt.
Well on April 26, 2007, little Riley Margaret Hamilton entered our lives and filled a space in our broken hearts. Each day she brings joy to us all, we have learned to laugh again and relish every waking moment with her. She has her Uncle Richie's devilish ways and unlimited energy. I sat this morning when we went to Richie's mass and just watched her expressions as she took it all in. The amazement in her face of seeing the people, hearing Fr. Jude (God Bless his heart for his caring ways for us each day) and her complete innoncence of why we were there helped me understand that life does go on!
I cannot honestly say that we will ever be "whole" again - how could we and I am not sure that for me "my life will go on" - but it hasnt stopped and with the help of all you, Dana, Matt and I will be able to face the day.
I have to share an experience that happened to me this weekend; I spent last four days with my childhood friend Judy at her beautiful home in North Carolina to escape for a bit the reality of life and to prepare for today. Ironically, she has named her new home "Angels Rest". Judy and I talked incessiently for four days, laugh and cried of our 50+ years together. One of her neighbors across the lake had visitors, her son a Marine and his fellow Marines. I sat across the lake and watched these boys "horse around in the water" and my mind wandered of where and what Richie would be doing now. Judy was out in her kayak and went over to talk to the Mom. About 20 mins later, two of the young boys swam across the lake to where I was sitting, came up on the dock, came over to me and said "Mamm, we are sorry for your loss; we know how it is to have lost a buddy (they just returned from Iraq); they kissed me on the cheek and I thanked them for their sevice and told them how much we appreciate and our thankful for what they do. I know Richie had his hand in this - things like this always happen to me when I need a lift or reassurance that he is with me!
Please dont ever be afraid to call us, stop in and talk about Richie - it helps us tremendously to hear all those crazy Richie stories. You know our door is always open; in fact, I am sure it will be swinging tonite with those who just want to be close and reminisce of the good times.
So as Richie lived his life, I implore you all to take chances, grab the brass ring and leave nothing unsaid.
Oh how I dreaded yesterday; I couldnt write on your site. Words wouldnt come without a flood of tears. How could this be that you are gone forever. Reality is here that you are not away on some mission but truly gone from this earth but NEVER OUR HEARTS.
I kep myself somewhat composed all day until I went to cemetary after work and saw that your friends were there having a rolling rock with you; then I lost it. How very special your friends are and they love you so and miss you so. I am sure you saw the bench they all donated in your memory.
So wit the help of all our family and friends we got thru yesterday with lots of tears and laughs. Little Riley is our best medicine; oh Richie she is so like you - you did good picking her out for us.
Next we will be working on your and Brad's dinner - it has become a reunion for the whole town. You boys left such a positive impact and good things are being done in your memories.
Well I will sign off now, it is getting harder and harder to write to you but thank God for your special love Amy who keeps this site alive. You were blessed by having her in your life.
Buddie, I sit here in Denver building another home for one of your striker brothers from Ft. Lewis. My only quest in life now is to make both you and Dana as proud of me as I am of you both. DAD
ONE MORE HOUSE DOWN IN YOUR NAME / Matt Febbi (Father)
HEY BUD TNE PENGUIN MARCHES ON. oNE MORE VET IN HIS NEW HOME. LEFT NC LAST NITE FOR DENVER CO AND TWO MORE HOMES. THEN BACK TO NC. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU AND DANA AND CAN'T STOP TALKEN BOUT YEAH LOVE YOU DA Close
Well, I haven't written on here in a while. To tell the truth, it just seems as though the days are getting harder and harder without you. I guess the reality of this whole thing just keeps setting in!
Each day, Riley reminds me more of you - she thinks she is a riot, just like you always did! God richie, I wish you could have met her - you would have been such an amazing uncle! I guess that is why this gets even harder. Each of Riley's "firsts" I want to call you and tell you - then I realize I can't.
As you know, I didnt write you this Easter - I was down with that stomach virus. In a way, it was good as I spent two days in bed, one of which was Easter and I didnt have to face the holiday without you. I just slept the day away.
You know that there isnt a minute of each day that I dont think of you and miss your crazy stories and infectious smile. Funny how life goes on all around but for us who love you, it has stopped. Yes we try and thank God for Riley as she has put the smiles and happiness back in our hearts. I know you handpicked her and what an angel she is.
I went to Doctor as I am sure you know and lets see if I cant "get on" as everyone says. I am sure you would be laughing at the very thought.
Well I leave for my trip in 23 days and maybe I will see you face while dozing on the tour bus as I did last time. I have vowed to do things that you would want me to do - hard as it is.
So for now, I hope you are seeing all the good things that are being done in your and Brad's name. What wonderful boys you were and are - I love you with all my heart.
Note From a Friend! / Bill Phillips (family friend )Read >>
Note From a Friend! / Bill Phillips (family friend )
Richie, I deeply regret that I never had a chance to meet and serve beside you in our military. I've gotten to know you through your father and by meeting your mother -- they are extraordinary people and Patriots, so I have a good feel for what your life's work was, and the kind of Marine/Soldier you were! Although having never met you, i can say without reservation that our military, our Nation, and I miss you! Close
missing u / Holly (cousin)
Hey rich just thinking bout you I miss you and our late night convos, Riley reminds me so much of you your happiness and constent laugher. we miss you rich. keep Ive had numberous of dreams...and I just miss ya.. watch over all of us. Close
World ain't the same without you tough guy / Randal Ruby (Old Friend )Read >>
World ain't the same without you tough guy / Randal Ruby (Old Friend )
Febb,
Been awhile since you passed, I know that if any of us make to heaven it will be you. I will never forget the first morning of the Spur ride and you had the flu. Even with a fever and having to stop and puke halfway through you still beat everyone in your section on the PT test. You never quit and earned your spurs. I just got back from Iraq, wish I would have had you there with me. Condez called me when you passed away, I am sorry it has taken me so long to write. My last Platoon was nothing like the one we had because it had noone like you. You were a hell of a Trooper and one great NCO. Do me a favor and pull overwatch for the rest of us until we finish this movement.
We are about to face another holiday without you. No celebration will ever again be the same without you here with us to celebrate. Oh God how I miss those 3 a.m. phone calls from you telling me of your latest escapades and conquests - what I wouldnt give to hear the phone ring again at 3 a.m.
I will be with my gang for dinner tonite and then home to be with Nan, Uncle Rich, Dana and Riley - Rob will be working in NYC at Times Square. I keep thinking of how you would have loved to go to NYC tonite and tell everyone "your brother in law is a cop in the City and will get us up front" - lol.
Then tomorrow the whole family, Kathy and Joe will be here for the New Year. We will try our best as always to get thru one more holiday and we will do our traditional toast to you.
I couldnt get on your site Christmas as it was down and then when I could get on, the words couldnt come thru the tears. Just gets harder.
I will stop over at Fran's sometime tonite and wish all your friends Happy New Year - how hard it is for all of them without you here. They will be toasting you all thru the night I am sure.
So Richie, as we say goodbye to 2007 and hello to 2008, know that you are missed more than words could ever say and we love you and miss you every minute of every day.
I long to see you and laugh and hug you again.
I will try to "get myself more together" in 2008 and channel my pain but again, I cant promise anything - this pain is way too unbearable but we are trying. So no resolutions for me - just a promise to try.
Thinking of you / Dana (sister)
Hey Richie, well I had to write. Last night, was a very rough night. We had to go to rob's cousin's funeral - he was 37. Although I didn't know him very well, I found myself dreading going to the wake the entire day. I realized, while I was in line waiting to pay my respects, why. As I stood their, watching his sisters' pain, it just brought back so many memories, and it was just way too overwhelming. Had it been before you died, I probably would have just told them, I am sorry for your loss and hope their pain would subside. I couldn't help but grieve for them, knowing that their lives as they knew it will never be the same. Knowing the pain they will go through every day of their lives is just so sad. I found myself reliving your wake. What an awful few days. I remembered how you looked and how hard it was to say good bye. God, I miss you so much Richie. It's been 2 1/2 years and I felt every second of that time! I love you always. Close
Thanksgiving/ Mom
Well Richie I didnt write to you on Thanksgiving but you know how I felt. How can I be thankful with you not here. I go along doing what is expected and then out of no where, doesnt matter where I am, the tears just flow. Thats when I get in my car and "we have our talks".
Little Riley has brought so much joy into our hearts; she has brought a smile to our faces again. Thank you for preparing her for this wonderful family and friends - you did good.
As the holidays are fastly approaching, people are shopping, laughing and going on with their lives. We on the other hand and just trying to make it one day at a time.
They say time heals all wounds but if I find out who "they" are, I will tell them no it doesnt, it doesnt matter if it is two years or two minutes, the pain and emptiness are the same. The only way to cope is knowing that one day we will be together again.
You are always in my heart broken as it is. Please help me understand the "physical pain" - I understand the emotional pain. We will talk again soon.
Haven't written / Dana (sister)
Dear Richie: I haven't written in a while, to be honest, it has been kinda rough lately. Riley is getting so big so quickly and it just reminds me that you are not here to share in all of this. On you birthday, she turned 6 months! How much she would have loved you. I know you are watching down over her, and me, but it just seems to be getting harder - maybe its because of the holidays coming up, her first christmas, and you won't be here. It just doesn't seem right. She was cheated out of an amazing uncle. I love you so much, Richie and miss you always. Close
Happy Marine Corps Birthday / Jane McCarthy (Mom)
My Dear Richie
Just wanted to wish you Happy Birthday on this Marine Corps Birthday. You served your country honorably as both a Marine and Army Sgt. Not many your age accomplished what you did in such a short time.
As I stand at the Memorial tomorrow on Veterans Day, I will look up at the sky and you will see me standing tall and so very proud of the man you became.
As I sit yet another night with my mind going in every direction, my thoughts are of how I am going to face what would have been Richie's 28th birthday on Friday.
I dont know but for some reason the anniversary of his birthday is harder for me than the anniversary of his death - I guess it is because October 26, 1979 he was given life and July 1, 2005, he went home to God. As much as I try to see the religious part of why God calls some home earlier, I still get angry as to the why - but I must hang onto the fact that one day I will know the why.
Maureen (Brad's Mom) and I have spoken at length, cried at length and even laughed at length as to the lives touched by Brad (Brad died of leukemia four months after Richie)and Richie. One only had to be at the Beefsteak Saturday night to realize it is not the length of ones life but the quality of their life. The dinner was kind of a blur as most of the night I know for both Maureen and I, our minds drifted as we spoke to each of Brad and Richie's friends, etc. and wondered why they werent here.
I am trying this week to "be a brave soldier" but the tears come when I least expect them - so for those of you who find me quiet at times, crabby or snappy or maybe I just want to be alone, I am told this is all part of the grieving process and normal - God I dont think I will ever again know what normal is.
So I am sitting here thinking of what I could do for Richie's birthday and what he would like me to do. What he would ask me to do is not grieve him anymore and get on with my life - but I know I cant do that but I can celebrate his life by remembering what a wonderful son, one who made me laugh when things were bad, one who loved being with his family and friends and the center of attention with all his crazy stories and actions and one who had become a Man who found his niche in life. You kids will get a kick out of this, he said to me when he made Sgt., "not bad huh Ma for a kid who had to have Scott Brown tie his shoes for him as he could only do bunny ear ties" - God I miss the Richieisms.
My favor to you all is to take sometime Friday and remember your favorite Richie memory - I know by doing that, you will not feel sad for at least a moment and I know you will have a smile on your face with your special memory of him.
Go out and live your life - take chances and cherish every moment you have with your loved ones.
So in case I dont write again before Friday................................
The hosting of this website is sponsored by Amy Madine This website will be here Forever, just like all the Happy Memories Rich has given us. The pain will never go away, our questions will never be answered, so all we can do is cherish the one we love with all our hearts until we join him in the heavens.
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